Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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