I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
