hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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