My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
