Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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