I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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