I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize