I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
one might say we're banned from that church
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
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