so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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