Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
