Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
