Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
