I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
