He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
