i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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