What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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