clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
