tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
