when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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