Quick, to the slutcave!
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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