i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
