She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Randomize
