I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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