Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize