Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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