I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
