So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
