even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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