I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We're using joints as your birthday candles
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize