you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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