i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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