Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize