so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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