there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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