This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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