Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
