it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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