So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
