Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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