I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
