I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize