Welp...herpes.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
