And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize