I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He has the fingertips of a God
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
