dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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