I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
