Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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