it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
