More tranny stories later!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
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