I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Your penis caused this!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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