At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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