go do what you do best...puke behind churches
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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