i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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