why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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