Swine flu. Run for my life!
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize