xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
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We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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