at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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