Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
