Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Randomize
