I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize