i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
