Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
