ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
