I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
